I was dancing in the club with a girl. I’m not that great at picking out what people say in loud situations, so most of the conversation was lost on me, but I do know this. She kept telling me I was beautiful and at one point she said: “I mean, obviously you’re transexual [which isn’t actually true], but that’s what makes you beautiful”.
My feelings on this statement bounced back and forth. The “obviously” kind of bummed me out, because I like to think I do at least a decent job of passing, but the rest of it intrigued me.
Beautiful not because I’m a woman. Beautiful because I’m transgendered.
In a cultural world where beauty is monopolised by women, especially of the waif-like white and “exotic” East-Asian variety, the idea that I could have been beautiful without even passing as a woman is a queer sort of idea.
I’ve often associated my own beauty with things about me that are feminine. And when I dress up, I try my best to pass. But this idea that someone could be beautiful not for passing but for being trans* suggests that maybe I need to rethink my own ideas of beauty.
Maybe the world would be a better place if we could see that all of us, in our different shapes and sizes and dresses, are just a little bit beautiful.